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Room 101

I don’t like to be negative, BUT…

[Last update: 05.02.2020]

  1. “Haitch” instead of “aitch”
  2. “Almonds” without the silent ‘l’
  3. Those who are offended by swear words
  4. “Expresso” instead of “espresso”
  5. Whistling. Wolf whistles are ok as there’s a purpose to them; but aimless, tuneless whistling is unfathomable
  6. Those who use an acronym regularly without knowing what they stand for
  7. Those who ask the time whilst they’re sitting in front of their computer
  8. People calling their computer or phone wallpaper their ‘screensaver’
  9. Slow drivers. Especially those who hang behind me when I’m cycling because they can’t work out the dimensions of their car
  10. Push-chairs in obviously non-push chair areas. They get in the way, they’re lazy and carrying the baby is better for you both
  11. Dummies/ pacifiers
  12. Small talk. Say something worthwhile or enjoy the silence
  13. ‘Child on Board’ signs in cars
  14. Sandwiches cut at right angles
  15. Sultanas/ currants in savoury food
  16. Waiters who persistently try and take the chutneys away at Indian Bangladeshi restaurants. I need them for the duration of my meal
  17. Waiters who take plates away while other people are still eating
  18. People who talk during the movie
  19. The Mail and The Express
  20. Bitten or badly cut nails
  21. Obese pets
  22. People who don’t cross out the completed words’ clues when doing crosswords
  23. People who put burnt matchsticks back in the box…
  24. …or sweet wrappers back in the packet
  25. People who pull the hand-brake on without depressing the button
  26. People who aren’t forthcoming in getting their round in
  27. The speed of the average pedestrian
  28. Men who tuck their ties in
  29. Short sleeved office shirts
  30. Your grubby mitts on my monitor
  31. Eating with your mouth open
  32. Pen-clickers
  33. Pen/pencil-biters
  34. Michael Gove, Nigel Farage, Mark Francois, Boris Johnson, Dominic Raab, Priti Patel, Sajid Javid, Jacob Rees-Mogg, Theresa May, Eamonn Holmes, Angela Rippon and Piers Morgan
  35. Electric hand-driers
  36. Wastage
  37. Heat, Closer, Hello, OK and Now magazines
  38. Fake Smarties on my ginger breadman
  39. Comic Sans
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